Various letters for today

To the lady who walked in front of me into the nursing home:

Those are very nice brown slacks you have on, and very nice brown shoes.  But you're really breaking up the monochromatic color scheme by not wearing dark brown hose or dark brown socks.  What's up with those natural colored hose?  Puh-lease.

To the lady in the parking lot:

Look, that parking space couldn't be any wider.  And it took you 3 attempts to drive your vehicle in?  Where did you get your drivers license?

To Beef O'Bradys at 12:01pm, while I was waiting for the to-go order:

Hockey season officially started at 12noon today.  You've got 4 TVs over the bar area and not 1 of them has on the NHL game. In fact, NONE of the TVs have the game on.

To the moron sitting at the bar, with his buddies, watching highlights of yesterday's baseball games:

I can't believe you just asked your buddy "It's post-season, right?"  Duh.

To the owners of some of the Corvettes I saw today:

In LaBelle Furs parking lot - that's one sweet black C5 convertible you've got.
On a side street in Haines City - nice restoration job on that red C4 convertible with white interior.  Looks sharp.